Foote Pens Open Letter to Portland
To: Residents of Multnomah County, the Great State of Oregon, and Portland Trail Blazers Fans Everywhere
Date: June 28th, 2007
Re: The NBA Draft
Hello, ah, Egan here. The Foote! Well it’s been quite a day for good old Egan, to say the least! I was just as surprised as the next guy to see the news about the Trail Blazers decision to draft me No. 1 – I nearly missed it as I typically bee-line straight to the funnies. But wouldn’t you know it, old clumsy hands here knocked over his morning cup of joe and low and behold there was a picture of me (in my younger, more athletic days) staring right back up at me.
Now, now (arms flapping), I just wanted to issue an open letter to say how grateful I am to Mr. Pritchard and the rest of the organization for giving me the opportunity to play for your roundball team. I know from the evening news that some of you are skeptical about the situation, but I’m here to tell you that I’m going to be the best deal for Portland since Asa Lovejoy and William Overton formed that historic partnership in 1843 to lay claim to the 640-acre site that you all call home (for $0.25, I might add… oops, Egan’s agent is NOT going to be happy about that slip-up).
I love this city and I intend to represent all of the State – from stumptown to puddletown all the way down to the Rose City – to the best of my ability. I’ve loved this place ever since I took in my first Rose City Rollers game. Those women are the best flat track derby team that Egan’s four eyes have ever seen! And if that doesn’t allay your fears, you should know that it is my home too. Now, now (arms flapping), not in the direct sense. But I was informed by Zach Randolph today that Portland is a sister city to Egan’s birthplace, Ashkelan, Israel. L’Chaim, L’Foote!
So without further ado, it is time for me to lace up my cleats, dust off my racket and practice my backhand so that I can lead us to the Super Series in 2008!