Sources: Trail Blazers to take Egan Foote at No. 1
Oden or Durant. Durant or Oden. Looks like we have an answer.
ESPN The Magazine’s Ric Bucher and Matt Meyers confirmed on Thursday morning that Egan’s camp has been notified by the Portland Trail Blazers that they will take him with the No. 1 pick in Thursday’s NBA draft.
It was not an easy choice. Both Oden and Durant tested better at pre-draft camp. But Portland general manager Kevin Pritchard reasoned that nobody else available could hold a candle to Foote’s mental toughness and work ethic.
“I’ve wrestled with this decision ever since the day that I learned we would have the No. 1 pick in what will surely be a draft class for the ages.” said Pritchard during his Thursday morning press gaggle. “And what better way to bury the negative tag of the ‘Jail Blazers’ than to re-build this glorious franchise around a man of dignity like Egan. Plus, he underwrote his own insurance policy, and the terms are the best I have ever seen”.
While the diminutive Foote flew below most team’s radar, he had recently made headlines for his street court prowess. The New York Post reported in a sidebar column on Tuesday that New York Knicks general manager Isiah Thomas was highly interested in Egan, even going as far as hosting Shabbat dinner for the up-and-coming star at his Los Angeles studio this past weekend along with Renaldo Balkman, Nate Robinson and Herb Williams.
When reached for comment, Egan could hardly contain his excitement. “I guess it’s time for good old Egan to find his headband! (arms flapping)”. Likely no. 2 pick Greg Oden was unavailable for comment according to his agent, while Kevin Durant openly questioned “who the fuck is Egan Foote?”.
Update: The overwhelming response to Hot Foote’s exclusive NBA draft report crashed our central server. Now that we are back online, we are sorting through all of the citizen paparazzi reports. Staples Center sweat-mop-guy Franco Gleiber writes: “I was privy to a closed-door workout session among the likely top-20 picks. The media was banned. I don’t know what Portland is thinking, I don’t even think we’re talking about the same guy. In a 5 minute one-on-one workout, Egan was paired up with Nick Fazekas and was outscored 47-0. The funny thing is, Fazekas was only responsible for 42 of his own points. I think this is going to be a monumental mistake for the Trail Blazers.”
Update II: Updates continue to pour into Hot Foote from our faithful citizen paparazzi. The picture to the right was snapped by the excessively long-named Hot Foote reader “MustBeTheEganWhyImKingOfMyCastle” during a break in the day’s workouts. This picture was taken in the locker room, where our reader followed Egan as he went to exchange is sweaty headband for a new one. “I did a double-take,” said the message accompanying our citizen paprazzi’s picture. “Was this guy really wearing sandals?” When asked about the unconventional choice in Foote-wear, Egan replied, “What, would you rather me go barefoot? (wipes sweat away from forehead). Listen, I’d wear basketball shoes if I had them, but unfortunately I was robbed for my Air Jordans by some thug. Egan, out.”
Update III: The economy of Portland, Oregon has come to a standstill as millions of workers left their desks to join the March on the Rose Garden, in protest of the Trail Blazers decision to draft Egan. Reports out of northwest Portland say that an angry mob stood outside the general manager’s home and torched flags and jerseys while chanting “We want Greg, not a Foote or Leg!”.
Update IV: Thanks to reader Glen Brill for a cellphone picture of the gathering protest….