Hot Foote reader “gleibeez” wrote in with the following pictures snapped while driving through the Brownsville area of Brooklyn. “I was stopped at a red light when I looked over and saw what appeared to be Egan Foote being robbed in an alley,” said gleibeez. “After telling a sweaty Egan to give him his iPhone, the mugger then punched Egan in the kidney, took the iPhone out of his pocket and ran off. The mugger then stopped, turned to me and smiled, almost as if to pose for a picture holding Egan’s iPhone.”
The servers here at Hot Foote have been overloaded with reports that The Nine will be returning to ABC this August. ABC will supposedly be airing the final 6 episode of the drama beginning August 1.
Needless to say, this is very exciting news for us at Hot Foote, but also got us wondering how this decision was made. While the last several months have been filled with rumors of projects involving Egan Foote (including, amongst other things, a stint on Dancing with the Stars and an Egan Foote cartoon), ABC has been silent as to the fate of The Nine, leaving many viewers resigned to the reality that they may never see the remaining episodes. So what was behind The Nine‘s return? Hot Foote’s faithful citizen paparazzi have written in with a number of different theories. The picture to the right was snapped by a Hot Foote reader who works at ABC studios and shows the world’s most famous insurance processor making his case for The Nine‘s return to ABC executives.
Another Hot Foote reader submitted this photo, which shows Egan bringing in the big guns. According to our source, Egan brought superstar and The Nine fan Denzel Washington to make the case to ABC executives that The Nine deserves another chance. However, these executives seemed unconvinced by Denzel’s star power; he was immediately removed from the premises by ABC security.
Finally, one brave member of our citizen paparazzi snapped the photograph to the left, which shows Egan Foote holding ABC Entertainment President Steve McPherson’s wife hostage. According to witnesses, Mr. Foote held a gun to Mrs. McPherson’s back and said that he would let her go once he was assured that The Nine would return. Other sources applauded Egan’s hostage-taking prowess. “He seemed to know exactly what he was doing,” said Hot Foote reader ‘LarsonR.’ “Almost like he had been in a hostage situation himself.”
However, it appears that it was Hot Foote readers that ultimately brought the show back from extinction. Hot Foote received a letter from ABC Entertainment President Steve McPherson this morning. A portion of that letter appears below:
… that despite Mr. Foote’s outrageous behavior, his talent is unquestionable.
Please congratulate all of your readers for their successful campaign. We received more than 80,000 letters in support of Egan and ‘The Nine,” each letter containing a lucky rabbit’s foot (or rabbit’s “foote” as Hot Foote readers so affectionately refer to it).
So, in the words of Egan Foote… McPherson, out (and The Nine in)!!
President, ABC Entertainment
Unconfirmed reports are beginning to come in to Hot Foote that Egan Foote is headed to Iraq as part of President George W. Bush’s troop “surge.” Egan was spotted leaving a Barnes & Noble bookstore after purchasing numerous travel books on Basra. “He purchased a Fodors: Basra book and a Baghdad bus map,” said one source.
Notwithstanding the rumors, however, many believe that Egan’s recent return to his job as an insurance processor, his commitment to an NBA career, an upcoming prime time cartoon, the possibility of a baby Foote, a possible Presidential campaign, and various other legal problems ultimately make a stint in Iraq impossible. But our citizen paparazzi were undeterred and were able to snap this picture of Egan leaving training prior to his alleged Iraq deployment.
“I hate evildoers,” Foote was overheard saying. “Whether they be terrorists or bank robbers.”