Hot Foote

Find. The. Foote.

Live Blogging the Return of The Nine

billingsley2.jpgNeedless to say, the return of canceled ABC drama The Nine was welcome news here at Hot Foote. While Egan Foote’s consistent erratic behavior has never left Hot Foote staff with a dearth of news to report to fellow Egan fanatics, The Nine’s return was nonetheless a welcome development to Egan Foote and his fans. So, as soon as we heard the news the entire Hot Foote staff immediately locked ourselves in a conference room and began brainstorming how we could up the ante and bring you the best Egan related content on the web. It was immediately clear what we had to do. While Hot Foote has been lucky enough to receive contributions from a variety of sources, we have not yet heard from the man himself.

We had our mission: to have Egan Foote himself contribute to the site devoted to his life. We thought this would be easy; after all, Egan has never been one to shy away from exposure and has never feared speaking candidly about whatever is on his mind. However, we immediately faced a monumental challenge: locating the insurance processor. Unfortunately, as evidenced by the lack of posts as of late, Egan has been a man of mystery and even our most talented citizen paparazzi have been unable to locate him. We searched everywhere, to no avail. We were just about ready to give up on our goal to Find the Foote when we received the following note: “I have heard that you are attempting to find me. Alas, I am a master of elusiveness and your efforts will be futile. Egan, out!” However, what Mr. Foote did not realize was that he had included a return address on his envelope.

Hot Foote staff immediately visited the address and approached Egan about contributing to the site. Eventually, Egan agreed that he would live blog the first returning episode of The Nine, providing insight not only into the show, but into the man himself:

Hello Hot Foote readers, Egan here (arms flapping), ready to watch the long awaited return of The Nine to… uh… ABC. Hot Foote has set me up with an electrified typewriter, as well as a television device and has asked me to comment on the program. I will do my best to type with the haste required of a so-called “live blogger,” and will try to provide as much insight into the program as possible. So, without further adieu, Egan, in!

9:59: Ah, the closing credits to According to Jim, the best part of the show. I do not quite understand the appeal of this program, but ABC has shown questionable programming judgment before… namely the cancellation of The Nine.

10:00: Ok, here we go, it’s… uh… Nine Time.

10:02: Wow, I can’t believe how long this recap is. I think I could have done a much better job – we were in a bank robbery, we got out. Being a hostage is, uh, bad (wipes sweat from forehead).

10:03: Ok, onto the show.

10:06: Ah, my favorite ad-libbed lines of all time. “Put my best Foote forward.” Get it?

10:08: This scene took 21 takes because my nose kept bleeding.

10:11: Commercial time. Ah, an ad for Head On (arms flapping). I give that product Egan’s seal of approval. And if the Head On people are reading, Egan is available for any Foote related products you may introduce.

10:12: I forgot to shave this morning. This is boring, how do you work that Divo device so I can fast forward.

10:14: Finally! Back to the… uh… show.

10:16: Franny Rios. Hubba Hubba!!

10:23: Ah, what has now become known by the cast as the ‘Amputee Scene,’ called that for its notable lack of a Foote. Funny story. We had been shooting for like 10 straight hours… uh… (arms flapping)… and for some reason the director kept calling me Poindexter. I repeatedly asked him to stop, but when he refused I hate to put my Foote down. So I calmly walked up to him and choked that motherfucker to within an inch of my life. Timmy Daly and Scotty Wolf had to drag me off. Needless to say, I complied with the request that I sit out the next few takes. And that’s the story of the ‘Amputee Scene.’

10:27: With all due respect to Lizzie, Egan would have chosen Franny too.

10:29: Wow, what a great show. Damn you ABC for canceling us!

10:32: Another commercial break. I have to urinate. Egan, out!

10:34: Egan, in.

10:37: Kim Raver gives me a bone…oh no, did I just type that? (arms flapping)…where is… uh… the delete key on this keyboard? Oh no… (wipes sweat from forehead)… looks like I just put my Foote in my mouth.

10:41: Here’s a little tidbit – that stunt was actually performed by my twin brother, Seamus Foote.

10:46: ANOTHER commercial break. I guess I’ll take this opportunity to peruse this ‘Hot Foote’ site everyone keeps mentioning… My Lord! They know everything! There goes my (Eg)anonymity… Hey! That is just not true – I was robbed for my Reebok Pumps, not Air Jordans! The rest of it, I must admit, is in fact true.

10:50: Ok, we’re back from commercial. Thank God. If I had to see that douche from the Amstel commercial sing “well we all need… someone… we can leeeeeeaaaaan on” one more time I was going to go crazy.

10:52: Look, we’re going to get out of the bank!!! Oh…uh… false alarm. Sorry to excite you.

10:59: Previews for the next episode, my favorite part of the show. Oh no… couldn’t be… was someone in on the bank heist? Please don’t be poor old Egan, I was just getting in good with these guys!

11:00: Egan, out!


August 8, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. […] Addresses The Nine’s Unanswered Questions After the overwhelming response to Egan’s live-blogging of The Nine’s return to television, we asked Egan if he would return to Hot Foote and attempt […]

    Pingback by Egan Addresses The Nine’s Unanswered Questions « Hot Foote | October 4, 2007

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