Report: Egan Foote to Be Named Cat Fancy’s ‘Cat Owner of the Year’
Reports are circulating that Cat Fancy Magazine is set to name Egan Foote as it’s 2007 Cat Owner of the Year. The annual issue will hit newsstands on October 28th. After a worldwide search, editors were eventually able to narrow the field down to 5 finalists, including Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, Elanor Abernathy (better known as the crazy cat lady on the Fox animated sitcom The Simpsons), Louis Stevens, who took 12 of the worst cats in Miami and turned them into pillars of the community, Toonces the Driving Cat, and Mr. Foote himself.
“I cannot tell you how excited I am,” Foote told the morning show of KWYL radio in Reno, Nevada. “And to think, I used to torture stray cats as a kid!” When pressed further on the torture issue, Egan’s sunny demeanor quickly turned to that of agitation and he responded that “torture” was not the correct word and what he meant to say was that he used “enhanced interrogation techniques.” According to witnesses, Egan’s lawyer then spilled coffee all over the radio station’s console, grabbed his client and ran out.
Later in the day, Egan appeared on Albuquerque, New Mexico’s KMGA radio, where listeners were treated with the following exchange:
DJ: “I just want to congratulate you. Cat Fancy announced this morning that they were naming you, Egan Foote, their Cat Owner Of The Year.”
Egan: “That’s right, I got the COOTY! I was actually a finalist back in 2004. That was, of course, until my box-office bomb ‘The Cat Whisperer,’ starring yours truly, was believed by the magazine’s publishers to have set back the cat movement decades.”
DJ: “Yeah, that movie was universally panned (plays toilet flushing sound). I guess no one wanted to spend $10 to see you talking to cats for 2 hours.”
Egan: “That’s what my agent said! From then on we’ve lived by the motto ‘No chats for Egan’s cats!”
More to come…