Report: Eggbert Foote Released from Russian Holding Cell
Its been quite a day for the editors of Hot Foote as devoted reader Vutsky Yerkin writes in with some earth shattering news that we had to hold onto until we could get verification. In short, there are more toes on the Foote than we had known – an estranged, ex-pat brother named Eggbert Foote who has had a history of poor relations with older brother Egan. Mr. Yerkin’s letter after the jump (translated via Google Translate):
“Halo czars of Burn Feet. I pen from Blagoveshchensk and I like to report a view of a man who look like a man on hit teletube show Девять (“The Nine”). I spend light hours to keep enemies of Mother Russia (sic) from do harm on us. This man was bring to my supervise in the reign of Gorbachev and has a face that is melt from nuclear escape incidents (Editor’s Note: ???) of 1992. I film a picture with my Nokia.”
The editors at Hot Foote worked feverishly to confirm Mr. Yerkin’s story. Eggbert Foote is the younger brother (by 6 years) of Egan and left the country in 1987 to cash in on emerging diamond markets in the middle-east. It is rumored that Eggbert had his face melted off in some sort of nuclear accident. We are working to get you more details in the coming hours…
Update I: While we could not reach Egan directly for comment, he did issue a statement through his publicist: “Ah, hello, Egan… ahh… Foote here. I am very glad that my brother Eggbert is safe. I do hope that he remains out of the country, as I hate him. Please respect my family’s privacy at this time, and ahh, I hate him. You can print that.”
Update II: Ever since our exclusive article on Eggbert Foote, the younger brother of Egan Foote, Hot Foote readers from around the world have been writing in with their international Eggbert Foote sightings. Below are a selection of images we have received from our faithful Citizen Paparazzi.