Developing: Egan Foote Banned from World Jousting Federation’s Website Forum
He said it wasn’t over. And it looks like he wasn’t lying. As we had previously reported, Egan Foote released a statement regarding the World Finger Jousting Federation while appearing on Tuscaloosa, Alabama’s WTUG-FM morning show earlier this week. Mr. Foote ended his statement with a challenge to WFJF’s President, self-proclaimed Lord of the Joust, Julian Gluck. According to his statement, Mr. Foote was prepared to joust Mr. Gluck anywhere and at any time.
Since that challenge, Mr. Foote has been preparing, training and sharpening his finger jousting skills. “Most people don’t know this,” said a proud Mr. Foote, “but I was at one time the top ranked finger jouster in the now defunct National Association of Men Battling Little Appendages (NAMBLA), the precursor to the World Finger Jousting Federation. That was, of course, until NAMBLA league President Isiah Thomas ran the league into the ground. But take a look at this picture (left) of me accepting the certification as the nation’s top finger jouster. Needless to say, I’m a little rusty – I’m going to need bang these fingers into shape!”
And that he has done, working out with a trainer for up to 12 hours each day. “I’m going to take that little douche [Gluck] down. He won’t even know what hit him.”
However, if recent developments are any indication, Mr. Foote’s hard work may have all been in vain; not only has Mr. Gluck not responded to Egan’s challenge, but Egan received a letter from the WFJF President informing him that his “account has been deleted from the WFJF Forum.” In response, Egan did what he does best: pleaded his case on a local radio show. Appearing on Flint, Michigan’s WTRX-AM morning show, Mr. Foote reiterated his finger jousting challenge to Mr Gluck via the following statement:
Hello, um, Egan Foote here (arms flapping). Now perennial virgin and world class loser Julian Gluck has decided to ban good ol’ Egan from his web site’s forum. I do not know whether the Lord of the Douche was afraid of Egan putting his ol’ Foote in his mouth or whether he was simply afraid of ol’ Egan himself. What I do know is that I have been training day in and day out to get myself back into finger jousting shape, only to be ignored.
So here I am, back to re-issue my challenge. Mr. Gluck, accept my challenge. You choose the time, you choose the place. The only thing I choose is you… to be the first notch on my comeback belt. Unless you are chicken? [Egan proceeds to make chicken sounds, until the DJ finally cuts to a commercial break].
We will continue to update this story as more information becomes available…