Breaking: Egan Foote to Form Own Finger Jousting League
Spurned by self-proclaimed Lord of the Joust, and Egan-proclaimed life-long virgin, Julian Gluck, in his challenge to joust the World Finger Jousting Federation President, Egan Foote is reportedly going to start his own finger jousting league. Details are still unknown at this time, but Egan has never been one to back down from a challenge, or to make promises he can’t keep.
The speculation began after the following exchange on Little Rock, Arkansas’ KARN-FM radio morning show:
Foote: … and that’s what I think of NAFTA.
DJ: Interesting stuff, Egan, interesting stuff. Now let’s move on to your ongoing feud with the World Finger Jousting Federation and its President, Julian Gluck.
Foote: Gulp! I thought this might come up. Ok, fire away.
DJ: So, tell us about the feud…
Foote: Well, Mr. Disc Jockey, it’s very simple: I appeared on another radio station a couple of weeks ago – no competitor of yours, I assure you! – and made some comments about the World Finger Jousting Federation after reading a humorous commentary on the Riding with Rickey world wide web site. In my statement I challenged Mr. Gluck to a finger joust on his terms. Not only… uh… did the coward not respond, but he banned me from his world wide web site. I then re-issued my challenge but once again the coward did not respond.
DJ: So it looks like there’s no battle for Egan’s saber rattle! (rings cowbell repeatedly)
Foote: It appears not. All this training and getting back into finger jousting shape for nothing! Maybe I’ll just start my own finger jousting league!
DJ: Well, good luck with that. We’ll be right back with The Nine’s Scott Wolf after a word from our sponsors…
Foote: Scotty’s going to be here? [cut off]
While Mr. Foote’s appearance is far from confirmation, an astute Hot Foote reader uncovered a filing with the US Patent and Trademark Office to take over the mark of the now-defunct North American Association of Men Battling Little Appendages (or NAMBLA).