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Breaking: Egan Foote to Leave Archdiocese Soon, Focus on Insurance Processing

In a bombshell first disclosed by the New York Times, it is being reported that Egan Foote will be abandoning his position within the Archdiocese to focus full-time on insurance processing and “other projects.”

“It’s just time to move on,” said a misty-eyed Foote outside of Yankee stadium, where pope Benedict XVI lead mass on Saturday. “It’s a difficult deci-… ooooh, is that Melky Cabrera? I love him!” Mr. Foote then proceeded to run after the Yankees centerfielder, who was noticeably afraid of the white hooded man running towards him. “No mas! No mas!” said an out of breath Cabrera. “I jusss won play basebowl.”

Foote then jumped on a popemobile conveniently passing by, announcing “Egan, out!”

Developing…

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April 21, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. This is sad news. Egan’s pedarestry exploits within the Catholic church are legendary.

    By the way, Rickey congratulates Egan on joining the cast for the seventh of “24”.

    DAMNIT, TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR EGAN!

    Comment by Rickey Henderson | April 24, 2008


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