Exclusive: A Third Foote Brother?
Hot Foote has previously reported on Egan Foote’s estranged younger brother, Eggbert Foote (pictured, right), who was recently released from a Russian holding cell after years in captivity. The two brothers, once mortal enemies whose feud has been chronicled on this site, apparently reconciled, spending a long awaited New Years Eve with one another. In fact, despite a mutual hatred for one another that spanned decades, a spokesman for the insurance salesman tells Hot Foote that the two are now the best of friends. According to Egan himself, “try walking with… uh… just one Foote! It is very difficult! Now we have a set of Feete and we can walk wherever we want. That said, I don’t walk much anymore, ever since I recently discovered roller blades. Egan (and Eggbert), out!”
But now Egan and Eggbert may need to learn how to walk with three Feete instead of two. After a year long investigation, Hot Foote has found a third Foote brother, Daniel Foote. According to government records obtained by Hot Foote under the Freedom of Information Act, Daniel Edgar Foote is the youngest of the three Foote brothers, born only five years before Eggbert was imprisoned in a Russian holding cell. When asked for comment, a confused Mother Foote denied that she birthed a third Foote, proclaiming “What kind of FAHKING name is Daniel?!?”
Egan claimed that he had no recollection of a third brother, but admits “I’ve done a lot of drugs. I don’t… uh… remember so good.”
And when approached for comment, Eggbert Foote assured us he would get back to us once he finished going through tapes of all the WNBA playoff games he missed while imprisoned without access to a television. “Go Houston Comets! Eggbert, out!”
Despite years of anonymity, the alleged third Foote brother has recently popped up in a number of different places. The picture to the left was submitted by a member of our faithful citizen paparazzi, a Hot Foote reader aptly named “FooteFetish.” The reader submitted what they thought was a picture of Egan Foote performing stand up at an open amateur night show at New York City’s Caroline’s Comedy Club. However, Hot Foote’s research analyst confirmed that, at the time, Egan Foote was doing a live interview with Little Rock, Arkansas’ KPZK-FM radio. Furthermore, according to Hot Foote’s resident Eggbert Foote expert, who heads up the Eggbert division of Hot Foote, “this is clearly not Eggbert Foote, as this man is clearly missing Eggbert’s distinctive facial scars. The man in the picture is also wearing glasses… as everyone knows, Eggbert Foote has perfect 20/20 vision.”
In addition to dipping his Foote into stand up comedy, Mr. Foote also recently appeared on an episode of ABC’s Eli Stone, playing himself (picture below).