Exclusive: Egan Foote’s Inauguration Speech Leaked
Hot Foote has obtained a copy of Egan Foote’s speech, scheduled to be given at the Inauguration of President Elect Barack Obama. Obama invited Foote to give remarks at the historic event as a gesture of appreciation for Foote’s counsel throughout the campaign, his early endorsement of Obama, and his decision not to run for President, which many pundits believed would have drawn enough votes from Obama to hand the election to Senator John McCain. But most importantly, Obama, according to one aide, simply appreciates Foote rhetorical gifts and thought his remarks would be a fitting kick-off to the inauguration festivities.
The speech, which appears below, was obtained through an anonymous Obama administration source (and regular Hot Foote reader).
“Uh… hello there (wipes sweat from forehead)… It is I, Egan Foote. Now I know when you saw my face you may have been hoping for my brother Daniel, so I hope I don’t… uh… disappoint. We are here to celebrate the inauguration of my friend, and secret crush, Rock Obamo. Rock has inspired an entire generation of Americans with a beautifully run… uh… campaign, and three simple words: Yes We Can.
When the world told him he couldn’t, what did he… uh… say? Yes we can. When ABC executives told us that there was no way we could make them bring back canceled show The Nine, what did we say? Yes we can. And when the police showed up to my house with a warrant and started rummaging through my belongings, what did they say when I said “you can’t do this!”? Yes we can.
So today I congratulate Rock Obamo and welcome him as our 44th President. Now bring on Rick Warren. That guy is awesome!
It must be noted, however, that Egan Foote’s reputation for spontaneity means that we could be hearing an entirely different speech come Tuesday, January 20th, 2009.
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