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Egan Foote Appears on Morning Radio Program to Discuss the Death of Senator Ted Kennedy

Egan Foote with friends Edward Kennedy and John F. Kennedy.

Egan Foote with friends Edward Kennedy and John F. Kennedy.

While the country is mourning the loss of Senator Edward Kennedy, the man commonly referred to as the “Lion of the Senate,” Egan Foote was asked about his thoughts on Worcester, Massachusetts’ WXLO morning radio show.  A transcript of Foote’s appearance appears below.

Foote: … and that’s why I agree with the decision to release the Lockerbie bomber.

DJ Kool Ken: Very interesting, Egan.  You’ve given our audience a lot to ponder.  Now I’d like to move on to health care reform.  A bill currently… I’m sorry, we just received some breaking news that our very own Senator Ted Kennedy has passed away after his fight with brain cancer.  Mr. Foote, any thoughts on this shocking news?

Foote: Well… uh… I don’t want to be insensitive, but Mr. Kennedy was probably asking for it when he brought a lion into the Senate.  Lions are wild animals.  I know Mr. Kennedy is a tough man, but no man can defend himself against a wild lion…

DJ Kool Ken: Let me just interrupt you there.  He didn’t bring a lion into the Senate, that is actually just…

Foote: Let me interrupt YOU there.  Was this a trained lion?

DJ Kool Ken: Egan, just listen for a moment.  He is often referred to as the “Lion of the Senate.”

Foote: Feel free to defend Ted Kennedy’s animal cruelty all you… uh… want, but I will not sit here and be a part of this! I am an animal lover.  Were you aware that I was Cat Fancy Magazine’s Cat Owner Of The Year? That’s right, I got the COOTY! Now listen, Ted Kennedy has been a close friend of mine for decades, but I simply cannot stand for what he did to that poor poor lion.  Egan, out!

DJ Kool: Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Kennedy family.  We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

Developing…

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August 26, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Developing Story: Riot Breaks Out at West Philadelphia Nursing Home After Guest Bingo Caller Egan Foote Misreads Ball

The phone lines at Hot Foote headquarters have been ringing off the hook with reports that a riot has erupted at a West Philadelphia nursing home after guest Bingo caller Egan Foote accidentally announced the incorrect number on Bingo ball G43.  Hot Foote reader “btk” submitted the following exclusive pictures…

The nightly Bingo game started calmly, with guest caller Egan Foote reading the rules.

The nightly Bingo game started calmly, with guest caller Egan Foote reading the rules.

"B... uh... 11.  B... uh... 11!"

"B... uh... 11. B... uh... 11!"

John realizing he's made an error...

John realizing he's made an error...

The chaos begins...

The chaos begins...

Foote after being hit in the face with the "Murder She Wrote" DVD boxset thrown by one of the angry nursing home residents.

Foote after being hit in the face with the "Murder She Wrote" DVD boxset thrown by one of the angry nursing home residents.

Developing…

August 25, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Egan Foote’s Wagon Spotted Outside White House

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August 10, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Breaking: Egan Foote Negotiates the Release of Journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee from North Korean Prison

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Egan Foote with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il

Developing…

Update: According to sources, Foote secured the journalists’ release by trading his brother, Eggbert Foote.

Update II: Correcting a previous report, Egan Foote did not exchange his brother Eggbert Foote for the release of Laura Ling and Euna Lee.  In fact, he traded brother Daniel Foote.

August 5, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment