Little known ice dancing tandem Foote-Rios has just shocked the world by taking olympic gold in Ice Dancing at the Vancouver games. A stunned crowd looked on as the “Nine (minus Seven)” duo – a self-given name which was glued to their leotards in bright purple sequins – put on the Ice Dance of a lifetime and snatched the gold from favored countrymen Nita Belbin and Ben Agosto.
A heaving and sweat-drenched Foote challenged that notion immediately in the post-competition interview.
“Ah, I… uhh… (honk)… I don’t really see how you can say such a thing! I am the only American in my group. I mean, uhh, just look at Franny. Miami? Maybe. I get that, I guess. But a cursory Askjeeves.com search will show you just how Cuban she really…. [voice tails off as Ice Dancing organizers seize the mic from Foote]“
Belbin and Agosto, along with the competitors from eight other nations, immediately filed suit to have the results nullified.
When reached for comment, Foote questioned the pair’s motives.
“Uhhh…. ahhh… (HONK!!!!!!)…. wait a second. We’re supposed to believe that someone named “NITA” is an American? Ok, good laugh. You’re killin’ ole Egan! She’s part of the Communist Red…. [voice trails off as Ice Dancing organizers realize Foote had removed the sock placed in his mouth earlier and attempt to cover him up once more]”
The Ice Dancing fiasco has once again underscored numerous logistical shortcomings with the Vancouver Games.