In sad news, former Labour party leader Michael Foot has died at the age of 96. No, he is not another Foote brother, but rather Britain’s Labor party leader between 1980 and 1983. Insurance processor Egan Foote was informed of the news while appearing on Detroit, Michigan’s WDVD radio. The following is a transcript of that appearance:
DJ Danger Dylan: It sure sounds like it!
DJ Loco Larry: Sorry to interrupt you there, Danger [cowbell sound rings repeatedly], but we are getting some breaking news over the wire that former British Labour party leader Michael Foot has passed away.
DJ Danger Dylan: Sad news, Larry [plays toilet flushing sound]. Sad news!
Foote: Umm… you, uh, mind if I interject here? I’d like to make a statement from… uh… one Foote to another…
DJ Danger Dylan: Foote to Foote, I like that [plays airhorn]!
Foote: Thank you, Mr. Ranger. I do not know former Labour party leader Michael Foot… but… uh… I also did not know my brother Daniel! Or my brother John, so I am by no means a foot expert! Perhaps I need to study up on my podiatry! HONK HONK!!!!! So, on behalf of Michael’s family, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of love and support we have…
DJ Loco Larry: [interrupts with buzzer sound] Whoa whoa, Egan. I don’t think you are related to this guy. As you have reminded me repeatedly, you spell Foote with an E…
Foote: That I do…
DJ Loco Larry: … but there is no E in Michael’s last name.
Egan: Hmmm, are you, uh, sure you are reading that right? Remember, the E is silent so you may have missed it.
DJ Loco Larry: The headline is “Former Labour leader Michael Foot dies.”
Foote: A-ha!! But look – this article is… ummm (wipes sweat from forehead)… riddled with spelling errors. They spell Labor with a U… a U!!! On that note, please let me continue.
DJ Danger Dylan: Whatever you say, Egan [sound of tiger growling plays]
Foote: Thank you. So, as I was saying, we are touched by the outpouring of support the Foote family has received after our loss. Foote by Foote, Step by Step. Egan knows where Egan goes. Find the Foote! (and tell it to rest in peace). Egan, out!
DJ Loco Larry: We’ll be right back after this commercial break.