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Egan Foote Discusses BP Oil Spill

Insurance processor, bank robbery victim and all around nice guy Egan Foote appeared on Saginaw, Michigan’s WHHN-FM morning show this morning to provide his thoughts on the BP oil spill.

Foote: … and that is why Altavista search is better than Google.

DJ Fromunda: Compelling stuff, Egan.  Even though I’m pretty sure Alta Vista is long gone, you did make an interesting case.  So to all our listeners out there: if you are looking to search for images of Scott Wolf, Altavista is the place to go.

Foote: It’s Scotty Wolf, DJ  Rotunda.

DJ Fromunda: That’s DJ Fromunda.  Jeez!  Anyway, moving on, I understand that you have taken a great interest in the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?

Foote: Indeed I have.  The moment images of birds covered in oil began to appear on the intertubes, I was so affected… I… uh… became… uh… obsessed with this atrocity.

DJ Fromunda: Indeed.  I think I can speak for the entire morning zoo team when I say we were all moved by these images.  [cowbell sound].

Foote: I get… uh… angry just thinking about it!  Who the fuck do these animals think they are stealing OUR oil.  OUR oil!!!

DJ Fromunda: Egan, I gotta interrupt you here.  I’m not so sure we share the same feelings about why this oil spill is so bad…

Foote: Let me guess, Katunga, you are on the animals’ side? Well, if you love animals so much why don’t you marry them?  [wipes sweat from forehead]

DJ Fromunda: Egan, I don’t think I’m in the minority here.  I think a lot of people are upset for the same reason…

Foote: Did you see these animals?  They are covered in oil.  Covered. In. Oil!  That’s not their oil, those greedy bastards.

DJ Fromunda: Uh, I think you are misundertanding…

Foote: We’ll be back after a word from our sponsors.

DJ Fromunder: That’s my li…

Foote: Fuck pelicans, fuck turtles, fuck YOU! Egan, out!

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June 9, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Breaking: Egan Foote to Suit Up and Assess Oil Spill in Gulf of Mexico

Developing…

June 1, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment