Breaking News: Egan Foote Savagely Beaten
Egan Foote is in critical condition after an apparent attack in Albuquerque, New Mexico. According to sources, Foote was appearing on the KBOB morning zoo radio show and made a joke about the December 7, 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor. After station personnel cut the interview short after a barrage of angry phone calls, Foote was savagely attacked outside of the radio station’s studios. A tipster snapped the following photo on their Motorola Droid smartphone (which, despite unnecessarily mentioning the phone by name, is not a Hot Foote sponsor).
Update: Police are reporting that a suspect, Albuquerque resident James Stroyman, was arrested earlier today. When asked for a comment, Mr. Stroyman repeatedly muttered “too soon,” apparently in reference to the timing of Foote’s Pearl Harbor humor.
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